User blog:Charlie the Penguin/dance.doc
We interrupt this series to bring you an episode that you'll probably just skip over in the future. As the narrator speaks, we see different pictures of Cadence over the years. Narrator: DJ Cadence Amidala Skywalker was probably the first true dance and music celebutante of Club Penguin. Over the course of her life, the limelight she experienced broadcasted her most intimate moments to a sensationalist public, and the world watched as she transformed from an innocent pop icon loved by millions into a disastrous cautionary example about the dangers of an insatiable addiction to obsessive visits to the Night Club. We see pictures of Cadence during the Hollywood Party and in the "Gotta Have a Wingman" music video. Narrator: Cadence's downward spiral began in 2013, after the passing of the law that outlawed nudity in Club Penguin. During February's "Hollywood Party", Cadence was caught in the nude in public, having refused to start wearing a body item. The following month, she was forced to choose one in order to star in the music video for yet another collaboration song between her and the Penguin Band. Feeling sad and confined, she began drinking heavily and before she could be stopped, developed a habit of going to the Dance Club every night. A close so-called "friend" of hers, McKenzie Baker, had this to say: We see McKenzie sitting in an interviewing chair infront of a large, blank wall. McKenize: I hate to say it, but I was only said to be her friend for promotional purposes when I was forced to act like McKenzie from Teen Beach Movie. Let me tell you, it is not easy to do an Austrailian accent! That's basically what happens whenever there's some huge event that involves "special guests". When I found out that Cadence was an alchoholic, I tried to keep some distance between us. Oh, please don't edit this to make it sound like I'm a jerk, I was just worried at what she might do. I lost both of my parents to alchohol before my first birthday, and you better believe I've learned to be afraid of it. Narrator: Cadence's expermentation with crack also took its toll. We see Cadence hobbling up to and shouting at different people in the Dance Club. Cadence: *slurring* You know what I hate? CHANGES! Back in 2008, we were free to do whatever we want! Now we're just a pyramid that has to follow a strict set of laws! I was nothing back then like I am now! Do you think this is a good thing?! Cadence marches up and gets in CeCe's face. Cadence: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD THING?! CeCe: *quivers* Um... it depends...? We see Helmet being interviewed. Helmet: Oh, ever since she first showed her ugly face I hated her. I don't care if she's popular, I don't care if she's destroying her life, I don't care if she's a drug addict! My opinion of her wil always be the same. People should realize by now that drugs are dangerous. *snorts crack* Narrator: In August of 2014, a phone call between Cadence and her friend Franky, the lead singer of the Penguin band was leaked online. Cadence: Hey, Frankiiiiiie... Franky: Uh, hello? Cadence, is that you? Cadence: Yeah, what are you *heavy breath* doiiiiing...? Franky: Sleeping. It's 3:00 in the morning. Cadence: Have I ever told you how cute your aaaarrre...? Franky: No... Cadence: Why don't you come over to my houuuuuuse...? Franky: Cadence, you're slurring. Are you hungover again? Cadence: I want you... to get some beer... maybe some crack would be nice too... then come to my iggy... Franky: Cadence, call me when you're sober again. I'm going back to sleep. *hangs up* Narrator: Five minutes passed, but Cadence stayed on the phone. Cadence: Are you almost here... I'm getting boooored... *passes out* Charlie: I thought we could convince Cadence to get straightened out if we held an intervention for her. I mean, not because she's my friend or anything, but, you know... I need to know where the Thunder Blade is. *looks out window to see Scorn, Sasquatch, and thousands of Evil Wingman Mech clones blowing up the Cove* Narrator: And so, Charlie set his plan into action. Charlie walks Cadence into a room lined with many chairs, but only Pluffy is there. Charlie: What?! Where are all her friends?! Pluffy: Paige is in an o-berry induced coma, Aunt Arctic's being held hostage by pookies, Rookie is lost in another demension, Sasquatch turned evil, and everyone else is dead. That answer your question? Cadence: *leans against wall* Ugh, what am I doing here? This is so booooring... *vomits* Charlie: *sighs* Well, this could've gone better. We now see Locy being interviewed. Locy: So, I take weekly lessons from Cadence, but lately when I've gone over to her igloo, she keeps falling asleep mid-dance. Footage of Cadence teaching Locy a dance move but fainting after spinning around once. Locy: Uh, Cadence? Are you okay? Narrator: Cadence's story is a tragic tale of how fame, money, and indulgence can destroy anyone. If someone as innocent as a promotional clean and kids-friendly DJ can be temped into destroying themselves so easily, none of us are safe. After an arrest in September of 2014 for teaching pookies quote-on-quote "innapopropriate dance moves", Cadence is currently once again undergoing rehabilitation, and her future is uncertain. We see Cadence sitting on a couch, leaning against an annoyed Franky, revealed to be the narrator. Franky: You might ask yourself why things like this can happen. Are we, the public, to blame? Is it our lust for watching these giants fall and crumble, that pressures them into their ultimate downfall? And finally, why does the media choose to report this to all of you? The answer is simple: everyone on the entire earth is a complete idiot. SERIOUSLY, people. There's an enraged dragon, a giant monster-penguin hybird, and ten million rogue robots destroying the island right now. Why not report on that?! *sees giant footprint crash through roof* Crap... Category:Blog posts